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Saw an old lady walking down the street
She had a pack on her back and boots on her feet
I said "Hey lady where you going to?"
She said "U.S. Army Ranger School"
I said "Hey lady, haven't you been told?
Ranger School's for the young and the bold!"
She said "Hey sonny don't be a fool
I'm and instructor at the Ranger School"
Saw the same lady walking down the street
She had a chute on her back, jump boots on her feet
I said "Hey lady where you going to?"
She said "U.S. Army Airborne School"
I said "Hey lady, you're too darn old
You oughta leave the jumpin' to the young and the bold"
She said "Hey sonny can't you see?
I've got master jump wings on my CIB"
Same old lady walking down the street
She had a tank on her back and fins on her feet
I said "Hey lady, where you going to?"
She said "U.S. Army Scuba School"
I said "Hey lady, haven't you been told?
You better leave Scuba School to the young and the bold"
She said "Hey sonny can't you see?
I taught recon, UDT"
GRANNY
When my granny was ninety-one
She did PT just for fun
two - she could PT better than you
three - she got up before dawn to do PT
four - she ran 3 miles, then she ran 3 more
five - she could beat any Ranger alive
six - she did PT just for kicks
seven - she up and died and she went to heaven
She met St. Peter at the pearly gates
She said "St. Peter, I hope I'm not late"
St. Peter said with a big, wide grin
"Get down Granny, and knock out ten"
C-130
C-130 rolling down the strip
Airborne daddy on a one way trip
Mission uncertain, destination unknown
We don't know if we're ever coming home
Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door
Jump right out and count to four
If my main don't open wide
I got another one by my side
If that one should fail me too
Look out ground I'm coming through
Slip to the right and slip to the left
Slip on down, do a PLF
Hit the drop zone with my feet apart
Legs in my stomach and feet in my heart
If I die on the old drop zone
Box me up and ship me home
Pin my wings upon my chest
Bury me in the leaning rest
If I die in the Spanish Moors
Bury me deep with a case of Coors
If I die in Korean mud
Bury me deep with a case of Bud
If I die in a firefight
Bury me deep with a case of Lite
If I die in a German blitz
Bury me deep with a case of Schlitz
If I die, don't bring me back
Just bury me with a case of Jack
WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN
When I get to heaven
St. Peter's gonna say
"How'd you make your living"
"How'd you earn your pay"
And I'll reply with a little bit of anger
I earned my living as an Airborne Ranger
Lived a life of guts and danger
Nothin's too tough for an Airborne Ranger
CHOW
Up in the morning, before day
I don't like it, no way
Eat my breakfast too darn soon
Hungry as a bear by noon
Went to the mess sergeant on my knees
Said "mess SGT., mess SGT. feed me please"
Mess SGT. said with a big wide grin
"If you wanna be Airborne, you gotta be thin"
JESSE JAMES
Jesse James said before he died
There's five things that he wanted to ride
Bicycle, tricycle, automobile
An M-1 tank and a ferris wheel
Jesse James said in his final will
He had five things that he wanted to kill
A lion, a tiger, a kangaroo
A long haired hippie, and instructor too
And ifen he could kill just one
He'd kill the instructor, let the hippie run
BLUE
Had an old dog whose name was Blue
Blue wants to go to Scuba School
Bought him a tank and four little fins
And took him down where he got the bends
Same old dog whose name was Blue
Blue wants to go to Ranger School
Took him to the field, took away his chow
Put a little motivation in his bow-wow
Still got the dog whos name was Blue
Blue wants to go to Airborne School
Got him a chute, strapped it to his back
Now old Blue stands tall, looks strac
That Airborne dog whose name was Blue
Got his orders for Jungle School
Took him on down to Panama
And that's the last of Blue I ever saw
CHAIRBORNE RANGER
It's one thirty now on the strip
Chairborne daddy gonna take a little trip
Stand up, lock up, shuffle to the door
The club for lunch and home by four
If there's something to decide
Close your door and try to hide
Every time you get a call
You're out playing racquetball
First revise the SOP
Make a change in policy
Ours is not to wonder why
It's written down in the LOI
God forbid we should go to war
All that paperwork would be a bore
Let me stay behind my desk
Anything is better than the leaning rest
Chairborne Ranger, that's what I am
One of a kind, I'm and AG man
I CAN RUN . . .
I can run to FT. BENNING just like this
All the to AIRBORNE and never quit
Ft. Campbell . .Air Assault
Ft. Bragg . . . Eighty-second
Ft. Riley . . . Kansas
Ft. Wood . . . .Missouri
etc.
COON SKIN
Coon skin and alligator hide
Make a pair of jump boots just the right size
Shine 'em up, lace 'em up, put 'em on your feet
A good pair of jump boots can't be beat
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some whitewash in my eye
Ain't no sissy, I won't cry
I'm just glad that cows don't fly
MP - MP
Sitting on a mountain top, beating on a drum
Beat so hard that the MPs comeR MP, MP, don't arrest me
Arrest that leg behind the tree
He stole the whiskey, I stole the wine
Now all I do is double time
NOTHING TO DO
AG, AG, who are you?
TDA with nothing to do
Go to PT at nine a.m.
Then to the pool to have a swim
Racquetball from nine to ten
Recover with a tonic and gin
Lunch from eleven to noon,
Your day will be over soon
Volleyball from noon to three
Keep really busy, can't you see
Now it's four, your day is through
I wish I was AG too
TWO OLD LADIES
Two old ladies were lying in bed
One rolled over to the other and said
"I wanna be an Airborne Ranger
Live the life of guts and danger"
Guts and danger
Airborne Ranger
Same two ladies were lying in bed
One rolled over to the other and said
"I wanna be a scuba diver
Dive right into murky water"
Scuba diver, murky water
Guts and danger, Airborne Ranger
Same two old ladies lying in bed
One rolled over to the other and said
"I wanna be a mountain climber
Climb that mountain, higher and higher"
Mountain climber, higher and higher
Scuba diver, murky water
Guts and danger, Airborne Ranger
One mile
No sweat
Two mile
Better yet
Three miles
Gotta run
Four miles
To the sun
Me and Superman got in a fight
I hit him in the head with some Kryptonite
I hit him so hard I busted his brain
And now I'm dating Lois Lane
Well, me and Batman, we had one too
I hit him in the head with my left shoe
Right in the temple with my left heel
And now I'm driving the Batmobile
I saw an old lady running down the street
Had a chute on her back, jump boots on her feet
Said, "Hey old lady, where you goin' to?"
She said, "US Army Airborne School"
Whatcha gonna do when you get there?
Jump from a plane and fall through the air
I said, "Hey old lady, ain't you been told?
Airborne School's for the brave and the bold"
She said, "Hey, now soldier, don't be a fool,
I'm an instructor at the Airborne School!"
Saw an old lady marching down the road
Had a knife in her hand and a 90 lb. load
Said, "Hey old lady, where you goin' to?"
She said "US Army Ranger School"
Whatcha gonna do when you get there?
Jump, swim, and kill without a care
I said, "Hey old lady, ain't you been told?
Ranger School's for the brave and the bold."
She said, "Hey, now soldier, don't be a fool,
I'm an instructor at the Ranger School!"
Saw and old lady running down the track
Had fins on her feet and a tank on her back
Said, "Hey old lady, where you goin' to?"
She said, "US Army Scuba School"
Whatcha gonna do when you get there?
Swim under water and never breathe air
I said, "Hey old lady, ain't you been told?
Scuba School's for the brave and the bold."
She said, "Hey, now diver, don't be a fool,
I'm an instructor at the Scuba School!"
A is for Airborne
I is for in the sky
R is for Ranger
B is for bonafide
O is for on the go
R is for Rock-n-Roll
N is for never quit
E is for everyday
R is for rough and tough
A is for all the way
N is for never quit
G is for gung-ho
E is for excellence
R is for Ranger
'Cause I'm Airborne
Ranger
All the way
Super-duper
Paratrooper
When my granny was 91
She did PT just for fun
92
She did PT better than you
93
She did PT better than me
94
She did PT more and more
95
She did PT to stay alive
96
She kept on doing flutter-kicks
97
She up and died and went to heaven
She met St. Peter at the pearly gates
Said, "St. Peter, St. Peter, hope I'm not late"
St. Peter said with a big ol' grin
"Get down granny, and knock out ten!"
C-130 rollin down the strip
Scarlet Knights on a way trip
Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door
Jump right out and count to four
If my main don't open wide
I got another one by side
If that one should fail me too
Look out below I'm a comin through
If I should die in the ol' drop zone
Box me up and ship me home
Tell my girl I did my best
Bury me in the leaning rest
When I get to heaven
St. Peters gonna say
"How'd you get to heaven"
"How'd you earn your pay"
I will reply with a whole lot of anger
Earned my pay as Air borne Ranger
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